The Good and the Bad- learning not to have fear

After looking for a while, not finding much that suited our purpose ( a home we would be able to rent to own, building a down payment with a portion of our rent while we saved up) we finally found a home that we liked.

We have been looking forward to this for so long. From the moment we found out we had to move to Utah, we started looking to purchase a home. But not being able to sell our house in Idaho, then not being able to refi and take money out for a down payment ( because the market is so low our house won't appraise for what it needs to) put a kabosh on that. So we started looking outside the box, at rent to own options.

It will take us almost a year to save up a down payment, the majority of which will come from me working Saturdays. (YUCK.) But I will gladly do it to get into a home. Enter in our new house we found. SO EXCITED!

It is a nice home, on a golf course in a nice neighborhood, big enough for us and has a nice layout. Good schools.

After a weeks worth of negotiations, during which I feared often ( will this work? why are they so willing to work with us? is there something wrong with the house we don't know about? why am I not receiving confirmation that this is right?) we settled on an agreement that would allow us to rent the home, a portion of our rent goes toward down, the sellers will pay closing and a portion of the down, we can have our pets, and a bunch of other stuff that we worked out. The only thing that bothered me was that owner would only sign a 6 month rental term, at the end of which she would extend it if we still wanted to buy. She wanted to be able to put the home on the market if we didn't want to buy, which is understandable. She was also building in an out for us if we decided we didn't like the home. This is what made us worry there was something wrong with the home, but the market here is just so bad we think she is welcome to any legitimate offer. Plus we get to try the home out for 6 months. That is a definite bonus.

But I really didn't want to move again in 6 months. The uncertainty about it made my stomach have knots. This is where my fear really kicked in, the fear of the UNKNOWN. We have a purchase agreement that protects us, but sometimes those fall through. Would we have to move AGAIN in 6 months? As I was pondering (worrying) about this, I remembered where fear comes from, and its not from God.

Fear comes from the adversary.

As soon as I accepted this well known fact, I received the confirmation that I was waiting for, that this was the house for us and everything would work out. I couldn't wait to tell Jason, I felt so much better. We signed the lease and paid the non refundable deposit yesterday.

Yesterday evening, we got the Syracuse Islander, a little small town news publication, in the mail.

On the top of the front page was the report about the new interstate they are considering building. They proposed 3 options, two of which didn't bother us in the least.

The third option puts the interstate directly in the back yard of the house we were so excited to purchase.

Have you ever driven along the interstate and looked at the houses whose backyards butted up against the road and wondered how they lived like that?

That would be us.

I spent the whole night in a state of disbelief.

What are the odds, that of all the houses, we would pick this one, and that on the very day we pay the deposit ( remember, non refundable) we find this out?

I have to admit, I was pretty discouraged.

I kept wondering, WHY? But more than that, I started worrying. Will we be able to learn which option they choose before we purchase? Should we walk away now and forfeit our deposit? Moving again in 6 months now looked like a definite possibility; worries abounded.

I was not oblivious to the blessing that we found this out before we purchased, but I was so discouraged that the blessing was overshadowed a bit.

After some thinking and praying, we have come to the following conclusion; we will continue on with our plans, moving in on the first weekend in March. It doesn't make much sense to forfeit our deposit. Hopefully in the next 6 months they will settle on a location for the interstate and we will be able to make a decision. If not, we will probably back out anyway, not wanting to take the risk. If they do decide to put a interstate in that property's back yard, the owner will have a harder time selling ( I feel so sorry for her) and we can probably rent for longer, while we continue to save up for a down. We won't get the portion of our rent towards our down, that was understandably just for this home purchase. But maybe we won't have to move right away, she will probably still appreciate getting rent while she figures out what to do herself.

And if the location is different, we will purchase the home.

Back to my question, WHY? I don't know, maybe there is no reason. But I think I am supposed to learn to not fear. Even in the face of such distressing options, we are supposed to have faith that things will turn out for the good for us. I have much experience that this is true, and yet I still default to fear when something like this happens.

If this is a lesson for me, or even if its not, I am going to make the best of it. I will try my hardest not to get bogged down in discouragement, to have faith. No matter the outcome, we will be ok. And with my limited, earthly perspective, I can't see what Heavenly Father has in store for us. Certainly it is probably better that anything I could plan.

So I will remember that, to not fear. To have faith. Regardless of where they build this interstate. We will end up where we are supposed to be. We will eventually get a home.

FAITH!