Heartbroken

We have been through a whirlwind couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, we had an amazing experience, a miracle really, happen when someone wanted to buy our home. I am not in the mood to tell about the miracle, someday soon maybe. The people that wanted to buy our home wanted to do a lease to purchase deal, where they would rent from us for a couple of years, then purchase the home then. We agreed, it felt right and the timing was perfect for us to go to Utah together. Then we started negotiations of the terms, such as the amount down, monthly rent, and length of the term. They asked for some unrealistic things, and Jason and I felt we were being very realistic. In the end, we couldn't agree, and we lost the deal. When we got the offer, we started negotiations on a home in Utah. Since we were hononring a lease to purchase on our home, that meant we needed someone who would do the same for us in Utah. We found a home willing to work with us, but we lost that as well due to the loss of our offer.

I cried for a while, and am trying to remain positive now. What really hurts is that we thought this was our miracle, our kids thought it was, and it didn't work out.

I am fighting despair, but really am feeling at the end of my rope. Jason starts in Utah next week, and will be traveling home on the weekends. I knew this was a possibility, but since we almost were able to go down together, only to have it whisked out from under us, his being gone seems worse now, somehow.

I know things will work out the way they are supposed to, and I know this post sounds horribly negative. I don't feel like this all the time, just in moments. It seems that the moments are getting to be more numerous, however, and I hope there is an end in sight for us.

I know of families who have had to do what we are going to do for many months. We will get through it and be ok, and I'm sure that when we look back, we will see our growth and learning from it.

I am just feeling like we lost something precious, something we may not get the chance to get again. Like our chance to be together and get into a home down there is gone, and what happens next may not be as good as it could have been if this had worked out.


So that is our update. We would appreciate any prayers on our behalf, and for those of you who have been praying for us, thank you. If there is anything I can do for anybody, PLEASE let me know; I would love to get out of my own troubles for a while and serve.